Wife

Mother

Author

Massage Therapist

Physical Therapist Assistant

Ballet Teacher

Worship Dancer

Scout Leader

Daughter of God

Shiela Miller

HERE'S WHAT MY MOTHER THOUGHT ABOUT BEING PREGNANT

When I learned I was pregnant, it was devastating. I felt too exhausted to take on such a challenge at this age, especially when I was envisioning a more fulfilling life. I felt hopeless, and I lost my enthusiasm. My dreams were evaporating.

The pregnancy threw me into a depression; I didn't want to go anyplace or see anybody. Circumstances during that time seemed impossible, beyond my control, and I always felt like a victim instead.

Once Shiela was born, they worked long and hard trying to get her to breathe. I remember seeing her being dangled by her feet like a limp noodle, just as blue as could be. I could tell there was no life there, and I remember thinking, "Don't tell me after going through all this, I'm going to end up with a dead baby."

When they first gave her to me and I laid eyes on her up close, she had the most beautiful little face I had ever seen, and I could not stand the thought of puttimg her in a grave if she didn't come back to life. I never prayed and pleaded to God more in my life than at that moment, that he would give her a healthy life and allow me to live long enough to nourish her to maturity. After some coaxing, she started to nurse like her little life depended on it, and after a while the color came into her face. Once she was breathing normally, I seemed to get a new surge of energy with her little life in my hands.

But when I was finally born, her heart changed. At first I did not move or breathe, and my body was blue. When she saw that I was dead, my mother prayed to God to save me, because she suddenly loved me intensely, and she wanted me to live. Many other people also prayed for me that night, and because of the power of prayer and the grace of God, after several minutes I finally started breathing and was a healthy baby. I believe that God granted her request and allowed me to live because He has a plan for my life, just as He has a plan for each of you. We do not have to be born in perfect circumstances for God to know us or to use us. He knew each of us before we were born, and He loves us all the same.

I should not be alive and here today. I am only here because of the grace of God. My mother was forty years old when she accidentally became pregnant with me. She was very angry to be pregnant, because she did not want a baby. In fact, she had been planning to leave my father, sister, and brother.

Then, when she was giving birth to me, my mother almost died. I was a breech baby, turned around in the womb, and labor was very difficult for her.